Excerpts from The Second Sex (blinkist version)

https://www.blinkist.com/en/app/books/the-second-sex-en/

• Across species, females differ from males, but this needn't entail a difference in status. When you look at most animal species, you'll notice that there are differences between males and females. This is certainly true of humans, and many argue that the existence of such differences proves that males and females should have a different status in society.
• However, this argument doesn't hold up. Yes, there are biological differences, but these don't justify the subjugation of females to males. Human males are often physically stronger, with more muscle mass, more red blood cells, and greater lung capacity.
• Some cultures forbid violence, thereby undermining any attempts for males to dominate females with their muscular supremacy.
• Most of today's societies are patriarchal, that is, men occupy the majority of the positions of power, and it's often assumed that it was always so.
• And as man started to dominate the world of work, he also started to dominate the world of ideas.
• Throughout history, patriarchy has been strengthened by structures like inheritance and marriage.
• But patriarchal societies and the cult of the male came to glorify private property, allowing for the accumulation of wealth within one family. And since man now carried the family line and its property, woman was excluded from any inheritance. Woman, barred from acquiring property, became a sort of property herself—a thing instead of a human with agency. This transition from communal to private, male-owned property not only alienated woman from man, it alienated her from society as a whole. One way man kept control of the family inheritance was through the institution of marriage.
• Marriage not only controlled where the inheritance went but dehumanized woman even more, making her into but another asset.
• In more recent history, the role of women has improved, but woman is still subjugated to man. We often think of history as a steady progression, a series of improvements leading up to the happier days we find ourselves living in. But is this the case for women?
• For example, in 1918 in the United States, women earned less than half of what men earned, and in the same period, female miners in Germany earned a quarter less than men, even when they collected the exact same amount of coal.
• Indeed, many religions situate woman beneath man right from the beginning. Just look at Judaism and Christianity's origin story, Adam and Eve. As we know, Adam is created to freely enjoy the Garden of Eden.
• But Adam gets lonely on his own, so God creates a companion for Adam, removing one of his ribs and making a woman, Eve. Later, Eve convinces Adam to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge and is blamed for persuading him to eat. It is Eve who is responsible for the fall of man and his expulsion from Eden. This is a key point where woman is made into the other. In contrast to man, the free, creative spirit, woman is reduced to flesh and sin. In Christianity, this sinful flesh is what reproduces original sin, making every newborn guilty even before birth.
• Woman is passive, a creature of imminence who exists to inspire the transcendent will of man.
• Man may simply wave away woman's anger and indignation on the grounds that women are inherently incomprehensible creatures instead of trying to understand what men might have done to hurt womankind.
• The process of becoming woman starts in childhood.
• The process begins right after birth.
• When children are born, their minds are the same. But when society divides them into girls and boys, it creates two very different ways of being in the world.
• Boys are allowed and even encouraged to play with themselves, and their capability to urinate while standing up gives them a sense of agency.
• As the separation between boys and girls becomes clearer, girls feel more and more trapped in their situation.
• The English physician Havelock Ellis showed that while only one percent of boys wanted to be girls, over 75 percent of girls wanted to be boys.
• For example, when her breasts start to form, a girl begins to be treated as an object, as nothing but flesh. She now has clear physical markers that distinguish her from boys, which plunges her deeper into otherness. And with menstruation, this shift becomes even more pronounced. A girl's first period, often a painful experience, is made worse by the atmosphere of shame and taboo that has surrounded female genitalia from early childhood.
• She has to carry the weight of the risks and consequences of having sex.
• The things the male gaze consumes—her breasts, her hips, her flesh—are the very symbols that make her a woman subjugated to male power.
• The active man, the passive woman—these roles are deeply rooted in common conceptions of sexuality.
• Male sexuality is often expressed in active and militaristic terms. Man conquers woman, discharges his semen, pulls the girl into bed, and so on. The passive woman, after being figuratively penetrated by the male gaze, is then literally penetrated by the male sexual organ. But unlike what many people think, many women don't enjoy the act of penetration, and for some it's even painful.
• The new mother quickly realizes that the child does not belong to her like it used to. Instead, she belongs to it. She has to submit to its needs, to spend all her time nurturing and feeding it.
• The institution of marriage perpetuates women's passive role in society.
• Shockingly, as late as 1942, France still had laws that obliged women to obey their husbands. And while this has changed in many countries, there are still places in the world where women have to obey the absolute authority of the husband. And even in liberal societies where marriage carries less sway, the household continues to trap women in a cage of passivity. Indeed, woman is still expected to do, and indeed still does, the majority of household work.
• In 1947, a report showed that women spend 30 hours per week on household tasks. The situation has improved, but women continue to be the ones who do most of this unpaid labor, which is one possible explanation for the gender wage gap. Women earn less because they have less time to dedicate to the workplace. And seeing that they earn less, women are incentivized to stay with a man who can offer them economic security.
• Stuck in this cage, woman lives a life of imminence. She doesn't have time to produce anything for herself and instead has to take care of her husband and children. She is isolated from society at large as well as from work and the outside world. Taking care of her family may offer some fulfillment, but when she discovers that her husband and children are able to exist without her, woman becomes overwhelmed with feelings of abandonment and loneliness.
• For example, woman is pressured to dress in a way that pleases the male gaze, even when such dress is uncomfortable. Short skirts allow for less freedom of movement than trousers, and high heels quickly cause blisters. Skimpy lingerie don't serve any practical purpose, while corsets make it difficult to breathe. But the male gaze is so strong that many women think that dressing well makes them feel good, when in fact it's making them feel desired by the gaze that is forcing them to be desirable in the first place.
• Prostitution legitimates marriage, but is just another form of female servitude.
• Many females who seem emancipated are actually wearing invisible shackles.
• Many people think that prostitutes embody a sort of sexual freedom, but prostitution is actually another form of servitude based on female sexual exploitation.
• And while some think sex workers choose their profession, the truth is that it's often a form of desperation and oppression. It's what happens to destitute people who are prepared to do anything to survive.
• Poverty is still a major driving force behind prostitution.
• And even today, despite the many women fighting for their rights, the majority of women are still constantly subjugated, which eliminates any feeling of responsibility for their situation and makes them believe they are powerless to change it. They believe this because, from a young age, women are taught that they can't determine their own life, that its course should be guided by external forces. For example, women need men to make them happy, so how can they be responsible for their own unhappiness?
• Another factor that prevents women from liberating themselves is their economic status. Seeing that they are dependent on their husbands, they can't revolt against them without risking loss of livelihood.
• Only collective action and not individual freedom will allow women to break their bonds and emancipate themselves. Some women think they can avoid the required struggle by adopting traditionally male roles and rising in the ranks of business and politics. Even if they achieve this, however, these women will still live in a world run by men.
• Love is a powerful force that allows women to justify their subjugation.
• Without any other possibilities in view, woman uses the powerful emotion of love to convince herself that her cage is worth all the suffering.
• Until both males and females see each other as peers, the two sexes will never be equal.
• Is equality on the horizon? To be truly equal, man and woman must see each other as peers, and that will require mutual recognition of the subjectivity of both man and woman. This means neither man nor woman may objectify the other. For example, think of an underwear ad where the male body is made into flesh for women's pleasure. This reversal of power may feel satisfying to women, but really it only perpetuates antagonism between the sexes. Woman will also need to learn to let go of her eminence in order to find her transcendence.
• Most importantly, both woman and society need to understand that woman is a social construct. As we have seen, woman is not an innate identity but something you become. If we are ever to achieve equality, woman needs to understand and transcend the social construct of her passivity and eminence. To do so, she needs to demand of herself the same courage and work ethic that's demanded of man. But woman can't transform things on her own.
• The whole of society needs to change to make female liberation come true. This means that the law must protect the rights of women, providing them with legal access to birth control and, if need be, abortions. A woman's body is her own, and only she knows what is best for it. Free child care and paid parental leave should also be available so that those women who do decide to have children aren't condemned to working toward the biological continuation of society for free. Fundamentally, for society to accomplish gender equality, both men and women must affirm their brother and sisterhood.